Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My pussy is not your playground.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
