Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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