i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
