every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
