YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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