just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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