I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
