it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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