i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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