Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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