Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
