That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
