If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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