What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
