do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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