she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize