ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Shame - the story of my life.
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