and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
someone get that fucking seahorse.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
