Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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