Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
