just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
