hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
