Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
