YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
