I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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