i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
