I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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