I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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