I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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