hell yes lets make some ravioli
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
