I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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