Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
