Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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