Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize