dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
