if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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