I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
