P.S. I can't hear my feet
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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