Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
