Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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