i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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