we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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