Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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