HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
