the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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