ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
