i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
