D3 body, D1 cock
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
