i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
