i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
