Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
