Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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