i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
