i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize