remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
