You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
