For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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