Fine. I'll sleep in my office
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Boobs speak an international language.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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